[This is going to be a long post. Warning: rant ahead]


I’m a smart girl, but in some things I lack understanding, like in social affairs. I won’t even start on everything concerning that, but instead concentrate on one. ‘The EX who reads my blogs now and still bugging me’. What is that? Good question. You can do whatever the fuck you want, you don’t owe me anything, I’m very fine with not hearing from you for ages, as long as I know whats going on halfway. I’m the last person to judge your actions. And please, I can never be you friend. Never. Because for me being a ‘friend’ postulates a certain amount of reliance.


So why are your words and actions contradictory?


Ok let’s go back to what happened before, shall we?


BEFORE: Why do I find out through the grapevine that you were telling “funny” stories about me in that disrespectful way?- Maybe you “didn’t mean it”, maybe you didn’t think it was too much info, but I certainly thought it was unneccessary. I never cheated on you. But you did. You could’ve gotten your laughs through any other anectode in your plethora of them, if your ego is really that desperate. I wouldn’t make you look like just another little fuck just because I could.


BEFORE: Why did you offer your assistance and then dissapear?- You know I’m a big girl and I can take care of things myself, and I hate accepting help. So it’s not like I’m straining your kindness or some shit.


BEFORE: Why did you communicate with me indirectly?- You were entitled to your own decisions, why not tell it to my face?


BEFORE: Why did you abuse something that’s dear to me?- This may not be your interpretation (as opposed to your inclination) so I’d like to hear yours.


BEFORE: If you couldn’t tolerate my actions and were doing something that you couldn’t deal with for me, why didn’t you just open your mouth? That’s all it takes.


BEFORE: I was bending over backwards to tear my own ass open for you not too long ago, and just to be melodramatic - it seems like every time I try to be nice, it just fucks me over. And then I realize that the behaviour that comes naturally to me is really the best.


Yeah, so who knows why exactly, it may be absolutely nothing, but - I couldn’t ask you, since you seem to avoid me. Is that necessary? Am I boring, scary? So..


BEFORE: Why did you not answer the phone, nor respond to my texts or any other attempt resembling any communication? I WAS your girlfriend, I WAS not a stalker, I WAS not bombarding you, what WAS your problem?


I am so sick of you now… and the behavior I am getting from you until now. I know you’re reading this!


Granted, I am hypersensitive towards your “honesty” or lack thereof until time delivers proof if it. This keeps me from wasting my time. But you’re being “innocent” as you state it, doesn’t mean I’m not trying to bullshit you sometimes. Don’t try to be clever.


This is probably nothing, but I can’t deny my irritation. I’m not gonna knife you for doing whatever you’re doing, maybe my boyfriend will, he he he.


take note: I did not do anything to screw you that I’m not aware of. It was you who screwed me.. everything. This is only an issue because you left me hanging in the air. Cheater!